Determination. Where the hockey sticks did this come from?!

Good morning, my good people! 

It's another gloomy looking day, but the weather guy said it's supposed to get nicer. Last night I ended up doing the exercise bike/baby weights instead of walking around the lake.  I sweat like mad! I keep telling myself it's melting fat... hahaha...gross.  But, more importantly, I had another wave of determination come over me while I was exercising last night.  At about 21 minutes of pretty aggressive biking, my heart pumping and arms shaking (I added in some baby weights while biking) I wanted to give up.  I kept thinking "My God, seriously, how can I go any longer?!"  

Then out of nowhere, BAM!  I told myself "You can do this... just little longer... don't let YOURSELF down!  PROVE YOU CAN DO IT!"  

And I did!  8.1 miles in 30 min.  And I felt so proud of my sweaty self!  :-)  

I went to bed with a power bar sitting on my night stand (just in case) and it was still there this morning.  

I fed Vinny at 5:45 a.m. and instead of going back to bed to wait for the bathroom... I got up, made myself breakfast and coffee and watched the news.  

I did not stop at Starbucks.  

I don't know where the "H -E -Double Hockey Sticks" this has come from, but I do believe I have determination!  

It feels good to take control of this part of my life.  MY BODY. MY MIND. MY HEART. And I am starting to feel like I am actually in control of it.   

I know a lot of people who are currently going through one sort of life struggle or another and can't help but circle back to my own experiences in the last 10 years.  Decisions I have made, relationships and friendships I have ended, and new ones I have made, boundaries I have enforced and some that I have loosened up; feelings I have embraced and some that I have stuffed... losses and gains... both figuratively and literally. I really compromised my body and mind during the process of freeing my heart; some of the best things that have happened to me, felt like the worst while they were happening.  But, now that I look back, they all taught me a critical part of my healing process and have given me the strength to be happier. And now, that I am here, in this phase...I have a really clear mind. I have a happy heart.  And I am feeling determined to be better. Hurts still exist within me; sorrow and resentment. But, I am learning to not let them control my success or derail me from making my dreams come true. I hope one day, they aren't there anymore.  But, I am clearly not quite ready for that yet... one day at a time!  We are all a work in progress. 

I hope you have a great day, today and find strength within yourself to do something you didn't think you could... 

MAKE IT A GREAT DAY!

Dee