I am going to suppose you are reading because you are genuinely interested in who I am. You know me, of course, but I don't always share what is really going on inside this head of mine. This blog is my attempt to get some shit out of my head and hopefully give me some peace in there... (inside my head).
I am not a writer. I don't aim to be. I am not a comedian or entertainer, either. But I'm fairly certain you might find some of my posts humorous, cuz I can be quite silly.
I have so much to be happy about, to celebrate and be proud of...But, I also have a lot of hurts, struggles and crap that I just need to vent out from time to time. I have a terrible struggle with my weight and being "good" to myself. I also have some pretty significant extended family issues that take up a good slice out of the "why" pie I call me. You know... like a pie chart. The why-I-am-who-I-am pie chart. The good, the bad and the ugly.
A few things I am facing today:
I am attempting, yet again, to face my weight gain and food issues head first. I have committed to exercising 30 min a day and eating healthy. So far, I have successfully made it healthily through breakfast and lunch. I plan to eat a healthy dinner - well actually, I haven't planned dinner, yet. But, I plan to plan for it...
I also plan to exercise as soon as Vinny goes to bed tonight. If It's nice out, I think I'll also take him out for a walk. I haven't been good about taking care of myself and have gained a lot of weight. I'm not happy about it. So, I am trying...
Another thing that is weighing heavily on me today is family-related. I am choosing to keep my mouth shut and not try to fix something family-related today. I can't fix it. I know I can't and if I try to, it could make matters so much worse. So, for today I bite my tongue. Something I really need to learn to do. I'm not an advocate for bottling things up - but on the flip side - I don't have to make every issue MY issue. And I have learned that advice - especially unsolicited - is not usually well received. My best intentions haven't really been well received in the past, so I am learning to let go and as cheesy as it may sound, let God. It breaks my heart...
And while we are at it... I am back on the fertility meds... hope and prayers... Chris is such a blessing and he is so patient and understanding. I don't like the waiting, wondering and disappointment that comes with each month we try. But, with him, it's easier. And when I am feeling down... there are my boys. I have much to be proud of and happy about.
I just need to reorganize my "Why" pie. One thing, and one day at a time.
Dee
GOALS FOR THIS WEEK:
Blog each day
30 Min exercise each day
Healthy food choices
Shush about the family crap
Set a date with my hubby
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